May 16, 2011

• Rest

  Jeff’s sabbatical has almost come to an end. Actually, he has already started working a little bit during the week. Before the sabbatical started we couldn’t wait for what we thought would be a vacation. Once it actually began, though, we soon realized that no matter the plans and expectations we had – life goes on. I ended up working more, and conveniently, Jeff took over some of my stay at home duties (ie. taking care of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle …). Let’s just say that in many ways both of us were more tired and grouchy than before our “vacation” started. Neither of us were totally in our element and what made me the most frustrated was the fact that the house was a mess all the time!

  It’s been a little over two months since Jeff stepped down from his pastoral position at New Life. Thankfully, I can look back at this time with so much to be thankful for and so little to complain about. How and why God allows things to happen in life are a mystery, but hindsight is such a blessing. As I recall all of the events that have happened since the beginning of March, I can see how God was working to bring blessing to our lives.

  In March, a dear sister in the Lord passed away from breast cancer. Obviously, it was a very sad time, but what I didn’t realize was how much her death would be used by God to sanctify me. I struggled a lot with fear, and at times it was overwhelming. I couldn’t sleep some nights wondering what I would do if I was diagnosed with cancer or if something happened to my husband or children or family. These morbid thoughts followed me for weeks. Then I read Hebrews 12:1-3.

  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

  Because of the struggle with fear and worry that I was going through, God spoke to me very clearly through this passage. CONSIDER CHRIST. Remember Him. Believe Him. Love Him. I was so comforted as I meditated on the love and grace that God showed me through Christ. I thought about what Jesus had to go through in order to secure my eternal life, and how much He loved me to do that. I began to remember that this world is not my home, that it is but a breath in comparison to eternity. It all became so clear. How can I have peace? Consider Him who endured death on the cross for me. Fix my eyes on Jesus. There are many things that I realized through the death of a friend, but this truth is most dear to me. It is what gives me hope and a future. I hope that as Maria rests with her heavenly Father, she knows how God has used her life and death to encourage me along my pilgrim journey.

  It quickly became apparent to me that this sabbatical rest that we had been looking forward to was actually work. The amazing thing is, all of the working was completely by faith. In fact, it had nothing to do with our ability to do good, but it had everything to do with us holding tightly onto God as He accomplished what He had always planned for our good.

  In reality, we have been busy these past two months. First off, we have been visiting a different church every Sunday. It has been good for us in so many ways. The kids are handling it a lot better than I had thought and we are learning and being stretched. Our 1998 Honda Accord finally left our family. After over 177,000 miles we were sad to say goodbye. Megan lost another tooth and so now she can whistle better than Jeff (not really, but she accidentally whistles when trying to say “s”; Noah is always trying to get her to call Seth’s name). I got to go away with a girl friend and spend two nights away from the kids for the first time ever. It was fun, but I missed my family so much! Jeff went to the Gospel Coalition conference for a week where God refreshed him and breathed new life into his passion for Christ. Jeff and I attended a weekend marriage conference which was great because of the information given, but also because of the time spent together. It’s unfortunate that this is the first time in 8 years of marriage that we have attended anything like this. We definitely want to go again!

  With the church plant around the corner, I find myself excited some days and a little anxious other days. One thing is for sure. God is preparing me. I can’t stop meeting people wherever I go. Just today I met a 90-year old woman who lives a few houses down from me. We only spoke for a few minutes, but in that short time I found myself really wanting to share the gospel with her and getting to know her better. She confided in me that she was lonely and wanted to spend time with me and the kids. Um, can God be any more obvious in His will for me? I really hope and pray that He will give me faith and an unselfish heart to want to spend time with her and show her the love of Christ.

  I am writing too much. I have a headache. This is what happens when the kids are sleeping, the house is picked up, and the husband is away on an overnight with his friends. Now it’s time for some physical rest. I am pooped.

  • 12:25 am
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